they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
