you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
