Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He shit in the fireplace
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