Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
