whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
