I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
