Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
