I wish I could punch you in the face.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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