The maid of honor just puked.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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