I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
