i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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