u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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