I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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