He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
