Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's just like the Real World with babies
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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