I smell stomach acid.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
