Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
