No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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