I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
