I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
