We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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