I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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