i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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