Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He? As in you personified your dick?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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