everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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