lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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