I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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