You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
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