please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
