Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
