1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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