i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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