I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
