All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
