Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
