Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
