Moan for me like Helen Keller
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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