i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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