Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
