dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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