It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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