dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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