Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
