you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
