Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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