the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
