I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
