Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
