Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You're so nebulous sometimes
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
