He kissed a someone with a penis
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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